Last week was rough. Not an hour after the guilty verdict came in for George Floyd’s killer, news broke of 16-year-old Ma’Khia Bryant’s death. All week, we were inundated with news of Covid running rampant in so many places, especially in India. (I actually asked a friend there if the news was overblowing the crisis, and she was like, “Nah. I caught it; every day more people we know are catching it.”)
More terrible things happened, plus climate change. Always climate change.
At the same time, I had fun last week. I got to see my mom and sister, even though we were together to navigate a stressful situation. These days, I often feel tossed between painful collective moments and much-needed personal joys. It’s strange to see (and post) reunion pics from vaccine-enabled meet-ups while at-scale vaccination is still so out of reach. Even stranger to celebrate much of anything while trying to process the onslaught of police shootings and hate-based violence.
I’m sure many of you have felt caught in this space of trying to get by in your own lives while unable to escape the reality of so many wrecked lives all around. I don’t want to escape, exactly, but I do want to get through. And for now, the way through is a sister cuddle on the couch, or encountering the beautiful woods and water of my hometown. Even a perfectly seasoned Louisiana shrimp and crawfish boiled plate helps.
They’re all reminders that it’s okay to be okay right now.
I can't stop thinking about: being legitimate in white supremacy
I finally watched The Falcon and the Winter Soldier this weekend. There’s a scene in the second episode where the police approach the titular characters (aka Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes) who are in the middle of the street arguing. They demand to see Sam’s ID, which he refuses to provide, just as Bucky tells him to show it to them. This is a common response to Black resistance to policing, but as Ibram X. Kendi powerfully shows in his Atlantic piece Compliance Will Not Save Me, defiance, compliance, and everything in between has historically still led to death. “Our compliance,” he says, “is not the solution. Police defiance of our humanity is the problem.”
The situation is diffused when Bucky says, “Don’t you know who he is?” and one of the officers realizes that Sam is an Avenger. The danger passes, but only once Sam was seen as someone recognizable and utterly legitimate. In this case, that literally meant being a superhero. For the non-Avengers among us, the danger passes once we are seen as special, valued, and most importantly, not like those others who deserve what they get.
Over a decade ago, I picked up some friends from a guest house owned by a white South African couple in a small town outside of Johannesburg. When I arrived at the gate, the husband came out shouting at me. I don’t remember why, but I do remember the aggression and rage in his voice. At some point, he heard my accent and realized I was American. He then fell over himself apologizing, trying to joke that he’d thought I was a “local.”
The year before, I was staying with a white South African family when their dogs began howling. The husband went to investigate and returned smiling, saying the dogs were barking at a worker in the street. Knowing that I was afraid of their dogs, his wife turned to me, also smiling, and said, “See, they won’t hurt you! They know the difference between our Blacks and an American.”
In both instances, they’d attached such a high level of validation to Americanness that they were almost giddy to know that I possessed it. Disgustingly, they thought that excepting me from “local Blackness” would see me co-sign their racism.
These examples from South Africa are easy to shake one’s head at. But this “you’re not like the Blacks I hate and don’t identify with” racism was a familiar continuation of what I’d learned growing up in Alabama, which is that all racist societies maintain tiers of acceptability for people of color, and dole out perceptions of humanity accordingly.
We know which traits inch us higher up the pole, but possessing those accents, degrees, or status symbols provides scant reprieve from the limitations and brutality of white supremacy. Sociologist Tressie McMillan Cottom, a MacArthur genius award winner and one of the most successful people most folks could think of, recently said that as a Black person, “My success is always limited by how well other people can imagine the possibility of me.”
In altercations, I might gain a few moments to be perceived as more human or valid if the aggressor has time to imagine me as someone recognizable, compliant, or exceptional. Perhaps, and only if they pause long enough.
But what about those who are almost never ascribed those traits? Say, a “local Black”, or a 16-year old girl with a knife, in a foster home? Anyone not perfectly compliant, or who has done drugs, or who is doing something illegal but not life-threatening?
For them, the gap between perception and assertion of humanity is nonexistent, replaced by a gap between perception and aggression. The gap stretched over nine tortured minutes for George Floyd. It was 11 seconds long for Ma’Khia Bryant, a child who deserved to be approached with a vision of possibility that centered on preserving her life.
Recognizing someone’s humanity shouldn’t require an assessment of superhuman validation or legitimacy. You shouldn’t have to possess special traits or identities to preserve your life or be treated humanely. I can’t stop thinking about how hard it is, though, for this world to actually believe that.
“Read now” articles
Amazing and unexpected read of the week: this the country (Sweater Weather). How am I just finding out about this Alabamian writer?
This article isn’t about your houseplants: The Dark Side of the Houseplant Boom (The Atlantic). It’s about the “spiritual suspension” we all have, where our planet is already being ravaged by climate change but our beliefs and actions have yet to keep up. It’s an incredible piece.
The 'Capitalism is Broken' Economy from Anne Helen Peterson’s newsletter is fantastic:
“We should ask ourselves, our communities, and our government: if a business can’t pay a living wage, should it be a business?
Wonderful and cutting piece from Angie Hong in Reckon South about the film Minari and growing up in a Korean immigrant family in Atlanta.
Other articles I learned from
DMX carried to his memorial in NYC via a monster truck and a Ruff Ryders cavalcade? YES, PLEASE. (Gothamist).
I’m disturbed by the US Supreme Court’s ruling about juvenile life without parole sentencing. Great essay from The Guardian’s Arwa Mahdawi: A question for Brett Kavanaugh: who gets a second chance?
I am still trying to understand what actually happened here. But shot 7 times?? An unarmed man was shot by a Virginia deputy who gave him a ride home an hour earlier (CNN).
I hadn’t heard anyone else talking about this particular aspect of what’s happening at the US/Mexico border: How Biden is Pushing Migrants to Jump the Border (Politico)
Considering how common pregnancy is, it’s astounding that we pretty much never see pregnant people in office: How Houston's first pregnant city council member is using her power to enact change (The 19th).
This breakdown of producer Scott Rudin’s abuses against his assistants (119 assistants over five years) is absolutely wild! (Vulture)
This piece is hard: Daunte Wright called his mom before being shot. George Floyd yelled for his. As a Black mother, this is my greatest fear. (The Lily)
Two pieces on how the interstate highway system impacted black communities, and how Biden’s infrastructure plan seeks to remedy that, partially: From Reckon South and NPR.
If you care, a recap of the Oscars from The Cut.
Give yourself the smile you deserve via this darling piece from Chanel Craft Tanner: Why and How I Threw My Daughter a "Welcome to Feminism" Party.
On the pandemic
Great article from The Atlantic about how most of us will fall into one of two camps when coming out of the COVID crisis: The 2 Types of Post-pandemic Socializers. The main takeaway? No matter what camp you’re in, let your post-pandemic behaviors be determined by your genuine interests and priorities vs. external pressure.
Freaking out about reports that vaccinated folks are catching COVID? For an excellent breakdown, read ZeynepTufekci’s Facts are Pieces of a Puzzle, not the Puzzle Itself. And from Vox: Covid-19 breakthrough infections after vaccination are possible. But don't worry.
This viral essay from Adam Grant is definitely worth a read: Feeling Blah During the Pandemic? It's Called Languishing (NYTimes, and should be available to y’all without the paywall). He describes a family member who has been staying up late re-watching National Treasure as suffering from languishing and I was like, “ohhhh.” I’m on season 13 of Supernatural, again, if that lets you know where things stand.
New COVID antigen tests are available at home, and don’t require you to send them off to a lab! (AARP)
Don’t be part of the problem! Go get your second shot, boo, if you’re lucky enough to have gotten a first: CDC data shows more Americans are missing their second dose of Covid-19 vaccines (CNN).
And please note: Federal agencies lift pause on use of Johnson & Johnson vaccine, saying benefits outweigh risks (Washington Post).
See ya next week, lovelies
I hope y’all are listening to my podcast! 😁 On this week’s episode, guest Mariana Sanz de Santamaria keeps it precisely 100 while discussing reproductive and sexual health education. She’s amazing; listen on Spotify or Apple!
And I know this week’s newsletter was heavy, and all around us stuff is heavy, but we might as well keep our heads up. Why? Because as Daniel Kaluuya said at the Oscars while roundly embarrassing his mom:
“You’ve got to celebrate life, man. We’re breathing. We’re walking. It’s incredible. My mum met my dad, they had sex. It’s amazing. I’m here. I’m so happy to be alive.”
He ain’t wrong.
Stay safe
<3
Sam